Grandma's Funeral: Life Sketch

The Life of LeLa Christensen Hansen
by Julie Earley

My Grandma loved many things, but today two things stand out to me:

          Greeting cards and Flowers. 

I wonder if Hallmark is going to feel the hit of my grandmother’s passing—I believe she kept them in business.  Not only could you always count on getting a birthday card from grandma, you knew that card was especially chosen for you.  She would have read through who knows how many cards until she hit upon the one the was “perfect for you.”  Many of us, her children or grandchildren, can remember getting the very same birthday card two years in a row.  That’s because it was still the card that described you the best. 

You knew she spent time, even when she could hardly walk, to go over and pick out a card just for you.   That’s an amazing feat when you consider that she was picking out cards for 4 children and their spouses and 23 grandchildren!  My mom and aunt were going through things at the house and found cards in sacks already picked out for grandchildren who’s birthdays were coming up! 

This was her love language, it was how she showed her love and it was also how she received love.  Last night we spent time going through the boxes, and I mean boxes, full of every birthday card, thank you note, Christmas card, valentine, etc, etc, that she’d received all neatly organized according to child or relative, etc. She kept them all and I know she would often read and reread the letters and cards we’d send. 

The second thing grandma loved was flowers.  Roses were her favorite, but she loved all different kinds.  Wherever they lived, you could count on Grandma’s flowers being beautiful.  Her children reminisced that they often awoke to the squeaking sound of the outside faucet being turned as Grandma watered her flowers every morning.  I was always amazed how quickly she could tell you the names of various flowers and she loved them all and saw beauty in every shape and color.  I’m sure many of you have enjoyed the roses here that line their property and all the beauty of their backyard garden. 

With that in mind I thought it apropos to share a few stories of her life through a poem I found on a card that my uncle had sent Grandma for mother’s day:

My mother kept a garden,

          a garden in her soul,

She allowed both rain and sunshine

          to help her garden grow

Just like sunbeams, birds and

          honeybees nourish and delight

She learned the best things in this world

          would help to set her right

And when the winds and rains came,

          she tried hard not to bend

And learned that through faith and trust,

          God’s blessings He would send.

My mother kept another garden,

          this one of the heart,

She planted all the good things there

          that gave my life it’s start

Her constant good example always

          taught me right from wrong—

Markers for my pathway

          that will last my whole life long.

I am my mother’s garden. 

          I am her legacy

And I hope today she feels the love

          reflected back from me.

My mother kept a garden, a garden in her soul,

She allowed both rain and sunshine to help her garden grow

The first stanza talks of allowing both rain and sunshine to help the garden grow. 

Grandma was born on May 29, 1922 into a sunshiney family, with a mama, papa, an older brother and 4 sisters whom she loved very much.

She grew up on a farm where her nurseryman father had an orchard and grew lots of fruits and vegetables and grandma spent her days working and playing with her sisters. 

MaMa & Grandma Kirkham

But Grandma’s young life had some rainy days.  When she was just 6 years old, her mama suffered a stroke and died.  She remembered being held up by her grandma Kirkham to see her mother in the casket.  She said that she couldn’t remember her face but she remembered her black hair.

Immediately following the funeral, LeLa’s grandmother Kirkham moved in to help with the children.  Grandma Kirkham was a stern little lady – tough pioneer stock.  She ran a tight and frugal ship.  She had a little black book she kept in the drawer next to the bread box and to keep the children in line, she threatened to put a “black mark” next to their names.  Little LeLa was scared out of her mind thinking that these “checks” would be next to her name.  Her younger sister Cleo didn’t care much for the black book and threatened checks, but it was the perfect method to get LeLa to obey.  Grandma Kirkham also made the girls underwear or bloomers out of cheap black sateen and the girls thought this was the most embarrassing thing that could possibly happen to them.  So out of style!  Living with Grandma Kirkham could be difficult at times. 

Just like sunbeams, birds and honeybees nourish and delight

She learned the best things in this world would help to set her right

The next stanza of our poem speaks of sunbeams, birds, and honeybees and how she learned that the best things would set her on the right path

Meldon

A couple years after her mama died, her papa married a girl named Meldon.  The children all knew and loved Meldon already because she was their mama’s niece.  The children didn’t know what they should call her because they already had a mama.  But the minute Meldon came to her new home, older brother Kenneth said, “We're glad you came, Mother" and after that – they all called her “mother.”  Meldon brought even more sunshine into their house.  She requested that every child have a photo of their mama by their bedside and grandma told me that often when she had done well in school or done something noteworthy her mother would say, “oh, your mama is so proud of you and so am I.” 

Worked Hard

One of the “best things” grandma learned was to work and work hard.  She said, “We five girls worked like boys.  We picked fruit, weeded the gardens, worked in the honey house, etc.”  She remembered crawling behind her dad as he placed the buds in the seedlings.  She would wrap to hold the bud in place.  It seemed such a tiresome job at the time, but while they worked, her dad would tell stories of his life and teach her important things.  And it became a time she looked back on with great fondness.

Honeybees

And who could forget the honeybees?!  As a child I remember we’d be outside at a picnic or something and a bee would fly near and we’d scream and run away or try to shoo it away.  Grandma would always say, “oh no, it’s just a honeybee they’re nice.”

Prayer

Another time when she was 10, her mother was ill.  My grandma watched the doctor go into her mother’s bedroom and close the door and she got scared and started to cry.  Her papa put his arms around her and told her to go pray for mother.  He told her Heavenly Father would hear her prayer and Mother would soon be well again.  She did get better and from that point on, grandma had a strong testimony of prayer.

And when the winds and rains came, she tried hard not to bend

And learned that through faith and trust, God’s blessings He would send.

The poem next talks about not bending in the wind and rain and if we put our trust in God – blessings always follow.

Scarlet Fever

Grandma had to deal with some sad and scary things.  When she was 13 she caught Scarlet Fever and was in bed for many weeks.  To make sure she didn’t make her family sick, she went next door to Grandpa Christensen’s house.  It was hard being away from her loving family but she was industrious during this time and made many quilt blocks which were later made into 5 large quilts by her daughters and granddaughters. 

Tumor

Then, when she was a junior in highschool she developed a large lump which turned out to be a tumor on her neck.  Because Grandma sat very still and never cried or squirmed during her doctor visits, the doctor called her, “My little brick.”  Her doctor was concerned that the tumor was cancerous so they decided to remove it.  When her doctor came in right before the surgery he asked, “So how’s my little brick?” and her Mother said, “Oh she is just a little worried about the ether.”  “Oh there’s nothing to be worried about, we’re just going to give you a couple of shots and you won’t feel a thing.”  The tumor was very close to the juggler vein and they had to cut from the ear down to her throat.  Grandma was awake for the whole 3 ½ hour surgery.  At one point the doctor said, “Now you have got to hold completely still or it will mean your life.” 

That scared Grandma so much she clenched the small mattress with her fingers and dug her heels into the bed.  At the end of the surgery it all went well but she had bad finger nails and bruises on her heels.  The doctor came into to her and said, “Well, you really are my little brick!”  They also gave her X-ray treatments which was something they did before modern radiation treatments.  The x-ray treatments were horrible and it made her tumor black before it was removed.

Losing Mother & finding Gordon

Another difficulty that Grandma had to go through was losing her mother.  A year before she died her mother was bed ridden and Grandma lived with her parents in a small duplex and took care of her mother during that last year.  Shortly after her mother died, she went to a dance in provo and met a handsome serviceman named Gordon Hansen.  They danced quite a few dances and he asked her out.  She was dating another boy at the time named Harold Gordon.  Grandpa went off for to serve on a 6-week cruise to Japan and he was very happy to find out that grandma was still be available when he got back home.  He said that he knew he needed to work fast – “to cut him off at the pass”.  And he won.  Grandma told me that Herold Gordon was a good man who was very handsome and he had his own car.  He would have been a good catch, but she knew she chose the right man to be her husband. 

They got married June 10, 1946 – one year later they had their first child, Ken – two years later my mother JaNae, then Delynn and then Shellee which brings us to our next stanza:

 My mother kept another garden, this one of the heart,

She planted all the good things there that gave my life it’s start

This stanza is about motherhood and the things she taught her children

Prayer

They always had family prayer – every morning the family knelt around the parent’s bed.  You never questioned it.  If someone had to leave really early in the morning, it didn’t matter everyone had to get up to have family prayer.  Even up until she died, they always prayed together in the morning.

Memorize talks

Memorize talks for church.  There were no notes for church.  That was the worst part of giving a talk.  Her children all told me that giving a talk to the ward was nothing compared to giving it to mom.  One uncle said it was that memorizing that helped him get through school, especially with medical books.

Love of Music

She gave all her kids a love for music.  She played the tuba and piano and she danced.  She sang to her children.  She had so many little songs she used to sing but her children remembered them and sang them to their own children.  And those songs are now being passed on to the next generation. 

“I married a good mother”

Life wasn’t easy.  Grandma was raising 4 children when times were tough.  Money was tight and grandpa often had to work two jobs and wasn’t home often.   He told me last night, you know, I married into a great thing.  Your grandma was a great catch.  She was a good mother who never complained that I was gone so much working.  She had to raise those kids mostly alone.  She made sure our children were well behaved and made good choices.  When I was in the bishopric I’d look down and see families who’s kids were rowdy, but my children always sat still and were reverent.

Her constant good example always taught me right from wrong—

Markers for my pathway that will last my whole life long.

Book of Mormon

The family moved to Las Vegas so my grandpa could get a better teaching job.  Grandma had a really hard time being away from her sisters.  Looking back she wondered if she experienced depression during that time.  She began reading the Book of Mormon every day.  She developed a strong testimony of the Book of Mormon and she later testified to her children and told them how much it had helped her.  I know that in her later years she would play the Book of Mormon on tape as she put puzzles together and she said it continued to bring peace to her.

Temple

Later when the children were grown and nearly gone from home.  She and grandpa made a decision to go to the temple every week.  It was often very difficult to get everything ready and out the door. Sometimes they wondered if they’d every make it.  One night when it was especially difficult to get there, she sat down and though, “does anyone even care that I’m here?” And at that moment she felt arms around her and felt someone saying “thank you” and then later on in the session she felt that this sister was with her and grateful for her service.

Service in the church

Many of you know that grandma had an eye problem that made it very difficult to read and yet she continued with extraction work and endured through the difficulty because she knew what she was doing was important.

Even in her later years when it became too difficult to go to church, she still held a calling as a VT’ing supervisor and she was faithful every month. 

 I am my mother’s garden.  I am her legacy 

And I hope today she feels the love reflected back from me.

Grandma showed her love, as I said, through cards.  But she also told us often that she loved us or that she was proud of us.  She’d say “I know I shouldn’t be proud, but I’m sure proud of ya – the good kind of proud.”  Or she’d say “I’m ‘pleased’ and proud of ya!”

She did something else that showed how much she loved us.  She worried about us.  She worried about all of us, her children, grandchildren and even great-grandchildren.  (She’s always say I’m a Great Grandma, heavy on the ‘great’)

Before I married I traveled a lot as part of my job.  Grandma worried about me all the time.  She’d make me tell her my schedule and where I was traveling during the month so she would know when to start worrying.  As annoying as it was, her worrying was her way of thinking of others – she always had great concern for our happiness and wellbeing.  I know that she prayed nightly for her children and grandchildren by name.

On day as we were driving in car together, she told me how worried she was that I wasn’t married.  I told her “Grandma, you don’t need to worry – I’m not.  I’m doing everything Heavenly Father has asked me to do.  I’m being faithful so I don’t have to worry and stress about it.  It will happen when it’s supposed to happen.” Later after I married she told me that when she would start to worry and she’d remember back to that time and stop.  “And here you are, all married with children, you knew all along that it would be ok.  I need to have faith like that.” Even during the last visit I had with her a few weeks ago she brought it up with tears in her eyes.

[I wrote the end of the talk after I printed this and I can’t find my notes so I’ll have to add it in later when I come across it.]

Grandma's Funeral: Talk on Salvation

Funeral Message: LeLa Hansen
by Stephen Earl

I. INTRODUCTION:

The Prophet Joseph Smith counseled:

“God will feel after you. And he will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings; and if you can not stand it, you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God.” Deseret News Weekly 8/29/1883

I know the heart strings of the family members have been wrenched to their breaking point over the past few months, as dear LeLa Hansen slipped quickly from relatively stable condition to very poor health and then last Friday passing quietly into the next life. Many tears have been shed at the passing of this noble woman.

When my wife told me on Saturday that the family would like me to speak on the program today, I was somewhat overwhelmed -- not because of the assignment to speak. Goodness knows if there is one dominant gene that has been passed down in the Earl family, it is the ability to speak. Indeed, the problem seems to be how to get us to stop talking. No, I was overwhelmed by the tenderness of the subject. When such a fine and loving woman dies, it is difficult to sift through all the things that might be said to find those things that really should be said.

LeLa Hansen was a devoted wife to Gordon for 64 years on this earth and will now be his companion in the eternities forever. She gave birth to and nurtured four wonderful children (Kenn, JaNae, Delynn and Shellee), who now have families of their own, giving LeLa 23 grandchildren and 35 great-grandchildren upon which to shower her love and attention. She stood faithfully by Gordon’s side as he served in several bishoprics and as the bishop of a BYU Ward. Many mothers here today know what a lonely challenge it is to get all the children ready for church each Sunday by yourself and then keep them reverent during Sacrament Meeting, while your husband sits on the stand with a calm smile on his face. Sacrifice in church leadership callings brings forth the blessings of heaven and much of that sacrifice is given lovingly by a faithful wife like LeLa Hansen.

On one occasion when Pres. Hugh B. Brown was walking down the aisle of the Tabernacle, he was stopped by an elderly sister who said: “Oh, Pres. Brown, I have always wanted you to speak at my funeral.” To which Pres. Brown responded: “Sister, if you want me to speak at your funeral, you’d better hurry.” My mother-in-law lived a long and productive life and since I am certainly in no hurry to leave, I am privileged to speak today.


II. PURPOSE OF A FUNERAL SERVICE:

Pres. David. O. McKay said on one occasion:

“The purpose of a funeral service is to pay tribute to our departed loved ones, and secondly, to bring solace and peace to the sorrowing hearts of the bereaved.”

The first of these purposes has been beautifully and caringly fulfilled by LeLa’s granddaughter Julie in her Life Sketch and by all of LeLa’s grandchildren and great-grandchildren as they blended their sweet voices in “Families Can Be Together Forever”, so let us therefore move for a moment to the second purpose – to bring solace and peace to sorrowing hearts.


III. FIND PEACE IN LOSS THROUGH THE PLAN OF SALVATION

To find this transcendent peace, we must go back to the beginning – before the Creation of the world, back to the Council in Heaven, when we accepted God’s Plan of Salvation – to come to earth and gain a physical body, and here to be tested to see if we could live by faith – to be obedient to God’s laws outside his presence. We knew and accepted that there would be opposition in all things – that there would be sorrows and grief amidst the joys and triumphs. On this subject, President Spencer W. Kimball has said:

"We knew before we were born that we were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we would have joys and sorrows, ease and pain, comforts and hard-ships, health and sickness, successes and disappointments. We knew also that after a period of life we would die. We accepted all of these eventualities with a glad heart, eager to accept both the favorable and the unfavorable. We eagerly accepted the chance to come earthward even though it might be for only a day or a year. Perhaps we were not so much concerned whether we should die of disease, or accident or of old age. We were willing to take life as it came and as we might organize and control it, and this without murmur, complaint, or unreasonable demands.

In the face of tragedy, we must put our trust in God, knowing that despite our limited view, his purposes will not fail. With all its troubles, life offers us the tremendous privilege to grow in knowledge and wisdom, faith and works, preparing to return to God’s presence."

IV. HEARTS TURN NATURALLY TO SAVIOR FOR PEACE

As we approach Spring time and the Easter Season, our hearts are naturally drawn to the Savior. Spring brings with it the promise of new life, but it is that cataclysmic event at the end of the Savior’s mortal life that fills our souls with hope and peace on a day like today, as we gather to mourn the passing of this gentle woman and yet celebrate her long and fruitful life. In your mind’s eye, let us all go back to that eventful day when Christ overcame the bonds of death.

It was on a Sunday morning, some 1977 years ago, when several women made their way, sorrowfully to the sepulcher, to minister to the slain body of the Lord and Savior, the Man known simply as Jesus of Nazareth; when a personage dressed in a white robe, as recorded in the Book of Mark (Mark 16:6) said to them, “Be not affrighted; Ye seek Jesus of Nazareth which was crucified; He is risen; he is not here…..” And thus was announced to the world the greatest message ever given for the benefit of mankind, since the earth was created and made ready for the children of men.

The simple words, “He is risen” proclaimed and fulfilled the promise which God made to the entire world and all that dwelt thereon: “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” (John: 3:16)

The offering, made in pure eternal love, of a sinless perfect life to atone for the combined sins of the world and the promise that not only would the Savior rise again, but He would come again as well, with healing in his wings, to offer salvation to all and exaltation to those special souls who would not only believe on his name but spend their lives in his service seeking to live each day in accordance with his teachings. All this contained in the simple words, “He is Risen!”


V. SCRIPTURES ARE REPLETE WITH ASSURANCES OF RESURRECTION AND ATONEMENT

The scriptures are replete with divine assurances of the reality of the resurrection and the atonement of our Savior. It is at times such as this, that our hearts are open and tuned to these familiar, soul stirring words:

• 1Cor: 15:22 – For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ
shall all be made alive.”

• John 11: 25,26 – Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection,
and the life; he that believeth in me, though he were dead,
yet shall he live. And whosoever liveth and believeth in me
shall never die …

• D&C 42: 46 – And it shall come to pass that those that die
in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them.

• D&C 124: 86 – If they live here, let them live unto me; and if
they die, let them die unto me; for they shall rest from all their
labors here, and shall continue their works.

• Alma 40:23 – The soul shall be restored to the body, and the
body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be
restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be
lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and
perfect frame.



VI. PERSONAL WITNESS OF REALITY OF RESURRECTION

Let me add my witness of the reality of the Resurrection. The whisperings of the Spirit have confirmed to my soul that Christ lives and loves us with an intensity beyond our understanding – it was a transcendent, perfect love of both us and his Father that motivated the Savior through the grueling ordeal of Gethsemane and Golgotha.

It is because of this abiding testimony -- that I know is shared individually and collectively by all of us here assembled – that we can both mourn the passing of dear LeLa Hansen (wife, mother, grandmother and friend), and yet glory in the knowledge that she lives still and is surrounded by those family members who have preceded her in death. She is resting from the labors of this life. But if I know my mother-in-law, she has already quietly slipped into the waiting line for a small and yet important assignment on the other side of the veil.

Benjamin Franklin, the great American statesman and philosopher, lived with a great deal of pain in his later years. Near the end of his life, he said: “Our bodies are lent to us while we are here on earth. And when they can afford us pleasure, assist us in acquiring knowledge, or in doing good to our fellow creatures, it is a kind and benevolent act of God. But when they become unfit for these purposes, and afford us pain instead of pleasure, instead of aid become an encumbrance, and answer none of the intentions for which they were given, it is equally kind and benevolent that a way is provided by which we can leave them behind for a time. Death is that way.”

The late Pres. Hugh B. Brown gave us the following comforting insight into death: “Death is not extinguishing the light, but merely putting out the lamp, because the dawn has come. Night never has the last word. The dawn is irresistible.”

Several months before his death, President Kimball was being transported from the Hotel Utah to the temple by golf cart in the underground tunnel. He saw Pres. Hale ahead of them in a white suit on his way to perform a temple sealing. President Kimball motioned for his driver to stop – But when he recognized Pres. Hale, he said: “Oh, it’s only you. I thought someone had arrived to take me home.” President Kimball is home now – encircled as it says in the Doctrine and Covenants “in the arms of the Savior’s love”. For the Lord revealed in Section 6:13: “If thou wilt do good, yea and hold our faithful to the end, thou shalt be saved in the Kingdom of God, which is the greatest of all the gifts of God, for there is no gift greater than the gift of salvation.”

And I bear witness that LeLa Hansen (devoted eternal companion of Gordon, loving mother to Ken, JaNae, DeLynn and Shellee and grandmother to scores of grandchildren and great grandchildren) has likewise arrived home – in glory, for she too was a good woman who held out faithful to the end of her mortal life. May we all live so that one day, we too, can enjoy that same glorious homecoming. I say these things in the name of the Jesus Christ, Amen.